So I totally splurged and purchased this:

Not even illegally. Heck yes.

Next I will purchase print and my aiga membership. Graphic design talent, here I come.

I'm really pumped about the graphic design club. I agreed to be on a comittee to help an easter art project with kids; that should be fun. We are also going to go bowling soon! Next Thursday is a movie meeting, and we will be figuring things out. Great.

I also got into the web design course that I wanted. It's really easy right now because we are learning very basic html, and I've been doing that since I was like, twelve. When we hit flash and dreamweaver, my interests will be peaked.

Socially, I have been very active, too. With design club, peer educators, the daycare, and hanging out with my roomates more, I also improved with hanging out with new people. I love new friends, because they are a mystery (Ooooo!).

Well, now I am going to read my principles of type books and watch redeye and elizabeth town and just be lazy until I wake up into tomorrows chaotic day.

Current Mood: amused

We are currently getting beat down by a lovely storm here in Edinboro. SNOW SNOW SNOW. WIND WIND WIND. Add those together and you have our weather. In honor of this, I have decided to stay in for the night and not do my screenprinting homework. I wouldn't call it slacking, but rather, avoiding freezing.

I've been trying to concentrate on doing homework. I just can't. I'm confused on the grid system and totally frustrated with it. Therefore I am taking a break. Slacking.

Yesterday I got a fab new hairdo. It's a little shorter than I wanted, and I have no idea how to work it yet, but it's definately cute. I think i just have a hard time adjusting to how different I look instantly with a haircut. It's shocking.

My room is pretty clean, although I seriously need to do laundry. I planned on doing it this morning, but changed my mind shortly after seeing my car under a few inches of snow.

My area is extremely pumped that Pittsburgh is playing in the superbowl. I guess it is pretty neat, although I hate football, I do enjoy seeing adults and kids wearing matching teeshirts, looking at all the black and gold baked goods and just seeing people excited.
Speaking of exciting, I bought my friend a hershey kisses maker and a plug and play ms.pacman tv game for her twenty-first birthday. Screw alcohol, I want you to stay forever young.

Current Mood: good

Last night my roomates and myself stayed up way too late. And I've been tired all day long.

I went to typography class, and although I'm not good at it yet, I love it. I know I'm going to learn a lot. Then I went to the Peer Educator meeting, and that was okay. After that I had to go to the Graphic design club meeting and I must admit that I love it there too. We are making our graphic labs even better and having mini critiques, and bowling against the photo club. Heck yes.

I also have an unstoppable runny nose.
Mmm.

...totally freaking rocks! I've been constantly listening to it. I was a little shocked at first because it's pretty different from her first CD. But man do I like this one, too.

So, I've been putting off homework again. I need to go to the screenprinting studio and clean my screen/make a print. I'll probably wander over there around 10. I'm also putting off my typography homework because I'm clueless as to where I want to go with it. Man I hope I am successful in my classes.

I bought a baby sewing machine last night so I could sew up a valentines day skirt. I hope I still have the sewing skills and that this machine works as promised. Super Bowl Sunday is occuring this weekend, and everyone in my area is pumped, mainly because Pittsburgh is closeby. I personally am pretty upset about this big day because they are closing the computer lab so that they can watch the game. Lame.

So, Im just being lazy.

Current Mood: bouncy

I can't sleep. I hate that, when you really really try and just lie there wishing you could doze off. It's been happening often, lately and I think it's because I have a lot going on in my mind.

Tomorrow I have to call of at the YMCA, so I can work at Walmart. I feel terrible with how often I call off at the Y, but it's really the only "free" time I have. I hope they don't hate me.

I'm finally getting into my core classes this semester, I have: Screenprinting, Typography, Personal Economics, Math, and Art of England Architecture. It's a pretty decent schedule, although they are all very easy, except type which is very very hard.

This week I'm hoping to get a really nice haircut. I still want it this longer length, just cleaned up. It has been since august since my hair has been cut. Ohhhh manda.

I realize it has been far too long since my last post and now. The fact of the matter is, I'm busy and lazy all at once. I didn't have the internet for the month of december, and I work 30+ hours a week on top of full time classes and intense homework efforts.

So what is new?
I made Dean's list last semester.
Since working at the daycare, I've been sick way too often.
I am finally on the ball with where I want to be.
I'm considering taking a semester off of classes due to my lack of money.
My hair is long enough to fill a pony tail!

I've been making a lot of friends lately. I went to see Walking the Line last week and last night I went to a party with lots of singing and laughing. I've come to realize I only dislike parties when I only know one or two people at it.

So I work tomorrow at 7 am and I really shouldnt be online. Goodnight.

So I've been having my period constantly for over four months. It varies in heaviness, but it has been heavier than ever before. There are a lot more gross details that I will not explain out of consideration for anyone who reads this. I've been looking online for possible reasons why I always get my period for so long, and why I can't remember a time since I've been out of high school where I have had a regular cycle. The results I found are frightening. It could be a tumor, it could be just some fluke accident in my system, or it could be cancer. Technically I should call a doctor and get tests done ASAP. Realistically, I can't afford it. I have absolutely no healthcare and I don't even have enough money to know how I'm going to pay my rent next week. And I'm scared. I called my parents inquiring what they think I should do, and they said they didn't have any idea. They don't have money either. I don't know who to go to so I could seek health. I applied for government assistance, but apparently there is some kind of waiting list. And I have school. If it does turn out to be something, what am I supposed to do about school. And when I save up enough, Ill have to go to the doctor alone. Can I handle it? I've never been sick since I've been out of high school and therefore have always had a parent with me at the doctors. I just don't know what to do. My life just never seems to pick up.

On August 11th, I will be giving up internet and tv until September when I can fork over some cash. This is mainly because I cannot afford it right now, plus I think I'd like to live my life without the aid of this technology. Besides, there is always the computer labs on campus. I will still post every so often. Hopefully they will be more upbeat. sorry@!

Current Mood: scared

So I started the five hour venture home on Monday at 7am. It was long, as usual, but not a lot of construction, which was good. I got home and my family was happy. I was happy. Then Andrea and I went to dinner at Marrones for half price pasta night, mmm! She told me about whats been going on with her, and it sorta made me sad. Then I went home and slept. On Tuesday I hung out with a girl I havent seen in about two years. We went to see the Sisterhood of the Traveling pants, after eating Taco Bell. As silly as I feel that I went to that movie, I feel even sillier to admit that I cried for about 1/8 of it. I'm so lame.

On Wed. my mom and I went to the auction shopping, and then to some discount stores. I got some pretty sweet things for my apartment, and a giiiiiiiigantic pillow! I love it! I got sick afterwards though. I think its because my mom smokes and Im not used to it anymore. Lame, mom. :p

Current Mood: content

I'd rather go back to sleep than go to work.

Someday I will get to rest!

Sometimes I wonder if there is such a thing as having such low esteem that you don't make stupid choices not because you are strong, but because you are weak and don't want to put yourself in that position. Sometimes I wonder if that is me.

When I'm alone I am a lot more intellect in my thoughts than when I am around others, and that is upsetting. There are times I wish to express things or feelings and I just can't because I don't know how to verbalize it into terms others can understand. So I say a whole lot of cheesy to lame things and I'm afraid I end up looking foolish. A lot of times I'd like to put these thoughts in my journal, but its just too difficult to understand.

Also this problem with making friends is really bothersome. Everyone likes me and talks to me, but I'm still confused on how people actually start hanging out. Maybe if I did something other than sleep and work I'd have more opprotunity, it could be easier, but sometimes I find it hard even to wake up.

I can tell that I've been feeling down lately everytime I walk around the house, it's a mess. I have to do dishes and pick up some books I have laying around. I just barely have the enthusiasm to do so. Now that ive made that statement, I'll probably do them tomorrow after work.

In about a month I start my summer course (Animation). I will have 5 other students in my class, and it cost me 771$ for just this one class. It better be fun and exciting and darn well worth it. Anyway, Bambi is currently on TV and I feel the need to watch it.

Current Mood: crappy

So I mostly slept through my days off, which is all I seem to be doing lately. My laptop harddrive gave up it's life, and instead of replacing it I decided to go for the big plunge and buy a new computer. It's a sony Vaio, with xp media center edition. 1gb ddr sdram, 200gb harddrive, dvd and cd reader and writers, and some other stuff. Otherwise Im pretty hooked up. In July I will be purchasing Adobe CS2, to go along with this baby. I'm pretty stoked.

There's this boy that I worked with a lot during the school year that I had the possibility of liking. We talked often and pretty much saw each other daily. Lately I haven't seen him AT ALL, and all I do is think about how I wish I could. I think I'm going to ask this boy out on a date. Hopefully with my ungraceful charms he will agree. The biggest problem is finding him so I can propose this question.

I've started White Oleander, the book, and it's incredible. I've decided that after I read a novel, Im going to do a little book review in some journal, so I can look back on it and just remember all i've read.

I've also realized that maybe I'm not too great at making friends. and quite frankly that sucks.

Current Mood: pleased

Today I went to Old Navy and bought a few shirts for Brett-o. I later bought some canvas so I can paint, and finally I went to borders, and spent way too much money. I got Aloft, Sex, Drugs, and Cocoa Puffs, White Oleander, and I'm Not the New Me. Hopefully I will find the time to read them.

Other than that I didn't really do much else. I went to the Meadville Walmart because I just hate going to mine when Im not working. It's lame, but I felt I had to do it today. I have work tonight 10-6:30, Im not really looking forward to it, I feel really tired and would prefer to sleep.

Oh well, it's money!

Current Mood: weird

my birthday was nice. I spent 1.5 hours with carly. then I watched garden state again and fell asleep around 6pm.

My brakes on my car have been giving me trouble. Hopefully I can get them checked out next week.

On my 20th birthday tomorrow, I will be alone doing laundry. It seems everyone always suddenly becomes busy around my birthday and makes big plans, so that when they remember its my birthday the week before, they say "oh sorry manda". i don't think this would hurt my feelings so much if: 1. it didn't happen every year and 2. for each of my friends birthdays i'll take off work or whatever im doing to make sure they have something special for their birthday (i.e. party, personalized cake and adventure, special care package when i cant make it to them, or surprise 5 hour birthday visit).

and here I am, being reminded that even though ive been alive for 20 years, i have nobody to hang out with on my day off of work, also known as my birthday.

In good news though, I got promoted at work and had my year eval. this means two significant raises. During days I made 6.80, now that im nights and the other two things Ill be making 9.50. The funny part is ill be doing less work for this mad cash, which is crazy, but okay. I really enjoy the people I work with, and I hope I can be a good supervisor for the front end cashiers. Wooo.

So, I need adventure. Any ideas?

So im living along now thats its summer in a really nice apartment. Ive been working as a 3rd shift cashier, with hopes of getting the CSM position. I sleep more than I should, but I really never have any plans. I would really like to go out and have a lot more fun, but when its just me I feel no real commitment to these dreams. Id like to read more.

I rented In Good Company last night andit was fabulous!:)

So, it was really beautiful outside for two days, and then on Saturday it decided to snow. Edinboro doesn't get wimpy snow either. It knocked out the power in Walmart, and we had to check everyone out and then tape up all the frozen and produce. It continued to snow uncontrollably into Sunday morning, and I had to call off work because my car couldn't move. THEN around 3 pm all electricity went out and is still out. We have no food, hot water, lights, ect. Of course, though, campus has a generator that is still working so we have class. Theres a lot of smelly kids here todaym including myself.

so 18+ inches of snow, no electricity, and classes doesnt make manda a happy girl.

and the fact that wed is going to be 70 degrees, really is messing with my system.

Current Mood: grumpy

I feel really boring and empty. I got a second job at Blockbuster besides my 32 hour a week Walmart employment. I love my coworkers, but the fact that at times my schedules overlap really makes me stressed out. That ontop of full time art classes. Im worried that I can't do this, but I don't want to give up. I don't know if i'm being strong or just being a wimp because I just go with the flow.

All of my friends have boyfriends or better friends. I feel lonely because of this. I really wish I was a priority to someone, and not just another friend. Its hard to not be really all that special to anyone at all. I just exist to make people happy when better people aren't around.

I hate the fact that I can't stick with anything. washing my face in the process I am supposed to, using freaking white strips, diets, even writing in this journal. I tend to make things tougher than they have to be, but really at the time I see no other solution.

Sometimes things bring me down.
And lately, a lot of things have.

Current Mood: melancholy

Christmas was really nice. My family is wonderful.

At school we had a christmas party, and that turned out well. We played hot potato, pin the nose on roudolf. We also had punch, and more goodies then one can imagine. For there being no alcohol, the party was probably the best ever.

I had to come back to school a week and a half early, to work, and they worked me until midnight and that really stunk. So my new years was crap and i spent it alone

Is it terrible that I'm listening to Christmas music?
Well, if it is, then I don't want to be good!

I came home to Girardville last night and ate an early Thanksgiving with my family and then went out with Fallon. When I came home, Brett and I watched Shrek 2. I love that movie!

Tonight Fal and I are going to Wilkes to hang out with Andrea, and I am way too excited! I want to go now. I never was a patient person.

I work at Walmart Thursday through Sunday so there goes my break! In better news though I can write my photo paper, start my sociology paper, and finish my logo. Im also hoping to get a lot of photo done. The semester is coming to an end in no time.

and that means...
Christmas!
My roomates are allowing me to get a real Christmas tree. I am very excited about this!

Current Mood: amused